I'm Monican't!

For any rabid Friends fans (like I have re-become due to the re-runs that I get dressed to every morning) ... you know the one where Monica gets a job as a head chef, and starts work only to find out that all the employees are relatives of the old head chef that got fired? The subsequent episodes joke about how everyone at work hates her? I am totally her.

I've been joking for some time that everyone at my office hates me (as with most of my jokes, it's a bit of reality in a sugary coating of humor to make it easier to swallow). It's honestly not that they hate me (expect for probably one of them), but in general I am a total outsider. It all started when I noticed they'd all rush off to lunch together and leave me sitting alone at my desk day after day. I got used to that. My boss suggested I should try to "integrate" myself a bit more - maybe initiate a group lunch? Interestingly every time I tried to do this, there were miraculously doctor's appointments, interviews, previous engagements - not one person could attend. I made sure every night to go around and say goodbye to every person in our group. When I'd work late, I'd pop my head out to find the place deserted. No goodbyes for me!

Today it came to a head - it was comical. I'm not sure if it will translate well to "blog reading" but I'll try. I was asked to organize a training about a topic none of them care about. It's not even really my area, but my boss asked me to do it so I'm trying. First attempt, not one person showed up to the meeting. Nice. Second try, I got them all to verbally commit to a specific date and time so they were on the hook. Most of the attendees are located in HK, so I re-arranged my desk to prepare for the local team to join me in my office. The ring leader was visiting the person next door, and poked her head in my office to ask,"is it time to start our meeting?" I'm sure she couldn't help but notice my welcoming set up. Laptop in presentation mode, phone on speaker centrally located to catch everyone's voices, handouts in front of each of the chairs - the works! She runs over to her office (I assume to grab her things) and then I hear the conference line beep.

Justin: Who just joined the call?
Caller: It's Angela (names have been changed to protect the guilty) ...

Angela was the person standing next to my office just two seconds ago. Why is she dialing in on the conference call instead of just coming to sit in my office?

Justin: Uhm, okay. I think we just need to wait for Sharon to join us.

I stand up and peek out my door through Sharon's office window (we all sit in a line next to each other).

Angela: Oh, she's in my office with me. We're just staring Netmeeting. Go ahead.

I find myself sitting in my office, on a conference call with my HR team, who are piled into the office next to me listening to my voice through the phone, reviewing the presentation via Netmeeting while nicely printed color copies sit in front of me collecting dust.

They hate me. They can't even sit in the same room as me. They're not even trying to hide it now. I didn't even know what to say, so I conducted the entire conference call listening to their responses both through the phone and through the wall. So weird. They barely participated throughout the entire call and finally said to me, "I think the best way you can help is to simply do it for us and send us an email when you're done." Chinese honesty ...

Companionship. I couldn't understand what my boss meant when she said, "honestly, one of the reasons I'm most excited for you to come to Hong Kong is for the companionship." At the time, I thought it was such an odd thing to say. Now, I completely understand what she meant. As much as I love it here, I can't wait to go back to the US and spend some time with friends, family, even coworkers who enjoy me as much as I enjoy them.