best ... day ... ever

(imagine the subject line read a'la 'Comic Book Guy' from the Simpsons)

I am on cloud nine. Yesterday was one of the best times I'd ever had in my 30 years of existence. As you know, I reluctantly signed up for a bus tour yesterday. I woke up and reluctantly drug myself to the nearest hotel for my 8:50 am pick up. As I stepped on to the bus, I quickly evaluated the situation. All blue-hairs. I was the youngest person on the trip by probably 30 years. It had 'fun' written all over it.

Confusingly, I was told to get off the bus at the next stop (I hadn't even done anything bad, yet!). Through some broken English I was told that the bus I was on was just a partial-day tour, and I had signed up for the full-day tour (which later I learned, the only difference was lunch was provided on my tour). I stumbled toward the new bus, already missing those blue-hairs I hadn't really even met yet. Then off we went. First stop ... Man Mo Temple!

Man Mo Temple

So this was interesting. I knew I should have been suspicious when my co-worker told me she'd never heard of it - and has lived in HK all her life. Second warning: it was on "Hollywood Road." Read: Tourist trap! The guide explained all about religion in Hong Kong. I didn't pay attention to a word he was saying, so I can't really tell you much about it. Hey, I paid for this trip - I don't want to be educated! All I remembered was the rules. 1) Don't take pictures of the Chinese people inside. Especially the old ones. 2) Don't touch anything. I quickly crossed the only two things I had planned on doing off my list and went inside.

They were burning some major incense in there. I love incense, but it was overkill! For those that look at the pictures, those coils hanging from the ceiling are incense. Incense is burned from sticks as well that are jammed into of mounds of incense ashes. That's kinda the major thing that happens there. That and repeatedly bowing ... while holding incense. Our guide showed us how you deal with problems in Hong Kong. You put a bunch of numbered Popsicle sticks in a mug and shake them until one comes out. That number corresponds to a book that tells you your fate (only $9.99!). We got 88 (I think) ... I wanted to get 69 so I could explain to my fellow tour members what that means in the US. People also bring their food in there to bless it. So there were oranges and various greens marinating in the smoke to be taken home and consumed. My favorite were the Christmas tree lights ... very ancient indeed! I burned 3 incense sticks (one for past, present, and future, we were told). My wish was that I could take pictures of old Asian people inside the temple and touch things, but alas it didn't come true.

The Peak

Next stop, the Peak. Hong Kong is very mountainous, so we shot up in a tram car right up the side of the mountain. The views are pretty breathtaking of the city and the bay. It's a little hard to take pictures through the smog, but I hope you get a sense of what it looked it. It started to get a little warm, so I spent most of my time in the shade with my new-found friend Lynette (from Puerto Rico) talking about toilets. We had an interesting dialogue about how in China, you basically "go" in a hole in the ground (I'm not kidding), yet in Japan it's so high-tech that the toilet does everything except slap you on the butt on the way out. Only in Asia.

Aberdeen Fishing Village

After a very windy trip down the backside of the mountain, we arrived in Aberdeen. I was already totally carsick from the bus ride down, so I was not looking forward to getting on a boat. I was having flashbacks of trying to snorkel in Hawaii and puking over the side of the boat 14 times (yes, I counted). It actually wasn't bad. I didn't see any fishing going on, unfortunately, or really any people either (aside from the tourists). I guess the fishermen don't relish being harassed by the paparazzi all day, but I'm not really sure where they go as they live on boats ... and weren't on the boats. Swimming maybe. As we pulled back to the shore, the cute little old lady driving our boat proclaimed, "Okay, money money money!" This is likely the only thing she can say in English, and quickly became Lynette and my catch phrase for the rest of the day. In fact, she was so busy hassling us for our money that she nearly crashed us into another boat. As our life flashed before our eyes, we paid our toll and ran.

Jewelry Factory

This so so damn lame, and I was pissed. We got a 45-second tour of the factory, and then magically found ourselves in the showroom with eager-eyed little brown people waiting to tell us all about the sale that was going on. It was amazing that the sale just happened to be going on the day we were there, and the deals were just for us! What great timing! We spent, by far, the most amount of time of the day there in that damn showroom.

Me: What time are we leaving?
Tour guide: Have some refreshments - they're free!
Me (later): I enjoyed the soda with no ice and warm distilled water. Now when are we leaving?
Employee (interrupts): Sale today only! I make deal just for you! See the pearl? Buy for your lady?

At this point, everyone on the tour thought that Lynette and I were together, so we endured by pretending to plan our engagement-related jewelry needs, only to dash their hopes by leaving with nothing!

Stanley Market

Stanley Market is also on the other side of the island in Repulse Bay. It was anything but repulsive. It reminded me of Hawaii. Very warm (mid 70s), beautiful beaches, very laid-back feel. I could have spent all day there. We had dim-sum for lunch (I accidentally ate the pork-bun wrapper. I'm so classy). The shopping was a little lame for me, but there were tons of open-air cafes, bars and a nice boardwalk. I cursed the time wasted in jewelry-land and strolled around one of the most beautiful places I'd ever seen. Lynette was kind enough to take a picture of the hole-in-the-ground toilet. Can't wait for her to email that to me. I helped her bargain for some purses (total good cop, bad cop ... and I was the bad cop! It gives you a great feeling inside to argue an already-low price that you can already easily afford with poor people. Warm fuzzies.). They were keen to point out the "safety nets" in the harbor to keep the sharks out. Nice. Also, lots of speedos. You can take the Europeans out of Hong Kong ... but you can't convince them that banana hammocks aren't cool, I guess. They told us it was totally okay to ditch the tour and stay in Repulse Bay (I seriously considered it), but decided I'd rather not try and negotiate the bus system back home.

Kowloon

So Lynette and I decided to be best of friends and meet up later that night. After a quick disco nap and shower, we took the ferry over to Kowloon to see the light show. I can't believe I've been here for a whole month without seeing the DAILY light show. It was pretty cool. I took some video, but it doesn't really do it justice. That's when the smog comes in handy - it really makes for a nice laser light show! The ferry ride back was interesting. The water was so rocky that the entrance ramp was flying up and down probably 2-3 feet from the pier. People were actually still getting on and then flying projectile-style on to the ferry. Lynette and I decided we are destined to die at the hands of a boat , so jump on and keep our fingers crossed.

Lan Kwai Fong

I had secretly been dying to to to Lan Kwai Fong. I heard it was party central for expats. It lived up to it's reputation and then some. I would NEVER go by myself, but it was blast with a partner-in-crime. We had dinner at a Malaysian restaurant (which seemed exactly like Indian food, but since I'm so bad in geography I wasn't sure if there was even supposed to be a difference). Our host was Indian guy with a full-on Elvis hairdo. Awesome.

All the streets are closed off in Lan Kwai Fong, so you can just walk around with drink in hand. Kind of like the French Quarter in New Orleans, only cleaner. We went to D'Apartment (very neat basement lounge-style place that, well, looks like an apartment). Next up was twentyonetwentyone. Pricey drinks, tons of Madonna remixes and British guys on ecstasy. I think this is where I started to drunk-dial Adam. Last was Lost. Very small, dark, crunchy house music and friendly bartenders (who gave us several free shots, that we in no way needed). I didn't even let that small shard of glass in my drink get me down. Internal bleeding be damned! (I'm just now realized how many times I almost died yesterday). Just get me another one. Wait - I'm not done with the one that has small pieces of broken glass in it!

Around 3 am (I think), Lynette begins to realize that she has to catch a flight the next day so we head home. With stupid shit-eating permagrins on our faces the whole way.

I am so madly in love with Hong Kong and just life in general right now. I just can't say enough about how glad and thankful I am for this experience. I am still completely reeling just thinking about how much fun can be packed into one day. The permagrin is still there ... now with bleary, bloodshot eyes.

To see the pictures, see the "Fun Day of Death" link to the left under "links". Enjoy