Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Even though I'm really excited to be heading back to the US next week, I still have the somewhat dreary task of getting everything arranged for my imminent return. Such mundane issues such as:

- do I leave a bunch of clothes here? I'm not sure if it makes sense to lug them all back to the US, just to lug them back again-again to Hong Kong. Maybe I'll just leave them in a box in my office or something.

- same question, only with my kitchen supplies. Should I just chuck this peanut butter or hang on to it?

- what do we do about luggage? If I take all the luggage, what will AC use when he comes over? Safeway plastic bags?

But, earlier this week I got the best bit of news ever! There was the issue of housing. I'll be back in another service apartment when I return, but I really didn't want to come back to Luard on the Park. The quality is okay and very close to the office, however, this little apartment has felt more and more like a prison cell lately. I think that all of the apartments here are studios, so I really just want a door (other than the one for the bathroom). Just a door.

So I went out on a limb and asked for my heart's desire. They told me that the waiting list was very long, and there was a good chance I'd have to stay elsewhere. "Maybe the Four Seasons?" my broker offered. Now who would have ever thought that I'd be poo-pooing staying at the Four Seasons? But I had my eyes set on a prize, dammit.

I got a call the next day. "Good news!" she proclaimed. "I got you a one-bedroom apartment at Pacific Place!" Yes folks, the only thing that I have not done at The Great is, well, lived there. I realize I've been using Pacific Place and The Great interchangeably, but actually Pacific Place is much more than just the grocery store. I will also have access to an AMC movie theater, two Starbucks, 11 restaurants, an MTR (subway) station -- all in the same building. I'll also be in a building with a gym (I actually have to use the gym of a neighboring hotel, which is fine with me), a full pool.

But most importantly, I won't even have to leave the comfort of my home to shop at The Great. I wonder if they deliver? No no, that would run the whole social experience. I just can't face a day where I don't get visually undressed by the cappuccino boy, or stare with wonder as they shave meat off some strange animal's leg. While they've stopped calling out to me with Christmas carols in March, they are now luring me in with a German Food Festival! I swear this place was made just for me.

"I have one small item, however that you may be unhappy with," she broke into my wiener schnitzel-infused daydream. "I must truly apologize, but there is no separate shower. The shower head is over the bathtub. Will this be acceptable?" My God they must get some real prima donnas if this is what they are apologizing for. "No issue," I warmly replied. Ahh ... back to the schnitzel ...

I'm Monican't!

For any rabid Friends fans (like I have re-become due to the re-runs that I get dressed to every morning) ... you know the one where Monica gets a job as a head chef, and starts work only to find out that all the employees are relatives of the old head chef that got fired? The subsequent episodes joke about how everyone at work hates her? I am totally her.

I've been joking for some time that everyone at my office hates me (as with most of my jokes, it's a bit of reality in a sugary coating of humor to make it easier to swallow). It's honestly not that they hate me (expect for probably one of them), but in general I am a total outsider. It all started when I noticed they'd all rush off to lunch together and leave me sitting alone at my desk day after day. I got used to that. My boss suggested I should try to "integrate" myself a bit more - maybe initiate a group lunch? Interestingly every time I tried to do this, there were miraculously doctor's appointments, interviews, previous engagements - not one person could attend. I made sure every night to go around and say goodbye to every person in our group. When I'd work late, I'd pop my head out to find the place deserted. No goodbyes for me!

Today it came to a head - it was comical. I'm not sure if it will translate well to "blog reading" but I'll try. I was asked to organize a training about a topic none of them care about. It's not even really my area, but my boss asked me to do it so I'm trying. First attempt, not one person showed up to the meeting. Nice. Second try, I got them all to verbally commit to a specific date and time so they were on the hook. Most of the attendees are located in HK, so I re-arranged my desk to prepare for the local team to join me in my office. The ring leader was visiting the person next door, and poked her head in my office to ask,"is it time to start our meeting?" I'm sure she couldn't help but notice my welcoming set up. Laptop in presentation mode, phone on speaker centrally located to catch everyone's voices, handouts in front of each of the chairs - the works! She runs over to her office (I assume to grab her things) and then I hear the conference line beep.

Justin: Who just joined the call?
Caller: It's Angela (names have been changed to protect the guilty) ...

Angela was the person standing next to my office just two seconds ago. Why is she dialing in on the conference call instead of just coming to sit in my office?

Justin: Uhm, okay. I think we just need to wait for Sharon to join us.

I stand up and peek out my door through Sharon's office window (we all sit in a line next to each other).

Angela: Oh, she's in my office with me. We're just staring Netmeeting. Go ahead.

I find myself sitting in my office, on a conference call with my HR team, who are piled into the office next to me listening to my voice through the phone, reviewing the presentation via Netmeeting while nicely printed color copies sit in front of me collecting dust.

They hate me. They can't even sit in the same room as me. They're not even trying to hide it now. I didn't even know what to say, so I conducted the entire conference call listening to their responses both through the phone and through the wall. So weird. They barely participated throughout the entire call and finally said to me, "I think the best way you can help is to simply do it for us and send us an email when you're done." Chinese honesty ...

Companionship. I couldn't understand what my boss meant when she said, "honestly, one of the reasons I'm most excited for you to come to Hong Kong is for the companionship." At the time, I thought it was such an odd thing to say. Now, I completely understand what she meant. As much as I love it here, I can't wait to go back to the US and spend some time with friends, family, even coworkers who enjoy me as much as I enjoy them.

Friends With You

Okay okay - I hear your complaints and I'm trying to write more. Sorry Cindy. It's just that nothing incredibly interesting is happening to me latley. I think that everything that happens to me is pretty interesting, but that's beside the point.

Last week was spent in Tokyo. The usual stuff went down while I was there. They have really beefed up customs at Narita airport and I got a full pat-down. I think maybe a full "rub-down" might be more appropriate as the customs officer totally fondled my manhood - twice! Don't be fooled buddy - the weapon I'm packing is totally legal. :)

The taxi driver got lost on the way to the office and we only got there eventually because I just happened to see the building out of the corner of my eye. That is always my fear. Tokyo is so hard to get around and they rarely speak English. But they are too damn polite to tell you they have no idea where your trying to go, so they do their best which sometimes results if you not getting where you need to go. If I was particularly motivated, I could probably just walk next time. Or maybe have someone show me how to use the subway to get there. I didn't get home until 9:00 or 10:00 every night, so I had just enough time to run grab room service before bed. Pretty boring.

I did get a chance to get reacquainted with an old friend of mine - exercise! I had no idea how much I missed running until I spent some time on the treadmill. The gym of the hotel has an amazing view of the city - it's really neat to watch while you're running. It put me in such a great headspace.

Anyway, so this weekend has been pretty mellow. I picked up a really cool book called Friends With You. From what I can tell, these two guys (Samuel Borkson and Auturo Sandoval) started out making these weird little stuff animals that gradually developed into some really neat graphic art and full blown installations at major modern art museums. Anyway, I've been trying to study art more because I like it but I'm ignorant. Not sure if this book helped or hurt, but it had pretty pictures!

The Flock Block

I've found that the pace of life here in Hong Kong is fast, yet slow. Maybe it's just the driving that's particularly fast. But I find the general pace of walking to be insanely slow.

I'm not a fast walker. Just ask AC (who I usually have to run to keep up with). But as it's getting hotter and hotter outside, I don't want to spend a huge amount of time out there. Also, my lunch break is short, so I want to get where I'm going and come back in an expedient manner.

But here, people tend to walk slowly. And there are so many people, they have developed flocking instincts that enable them to quickly form small groups that block the walkway when a fast-walker approaches. I find myself like a predator, trying to find gaps or weak sections of their wall, only to be confused and eventually repelled by the continual undulation of the group. They also use toxic substances as a defense mechanism. If I get too close, I'm usually blasted with a exhale of cigarette smoke casually thrown over a shoulder.

I guess I should just budget more time, put on more deodorant and assimilate into the flock.

The Cat's Out of the Bag

So I can FINALLY write about this now, but as many / most / none of you know, I got an offer to stay in Hong Kong for a minimum of two years. It's a really awesome opportunity at just the right time in our lives, so I accepted. I'm grudgingly allowing AC to join me, against my better judgement. :)

The bad news is that this is going to happen very quickly. I will be here in HK through the end of May, in the US until June 8th, off to Mexico, then back to HK.

For those of you local, stay tuned (hopefully) we'll do some type of going-away shin dig!

Mid Level Madness

I was off work today because of "Labour" day - fine by me! I unfortunately had at 7:00 am conference call w
So my little abode in Wan Chai is starting to drive me nuts. What was advertised as 400 square feet, in reality, is more like 200 and change - and feels like 100 plus. I'm really missing having access to a gym (man, these jeans must have shrunk or somethin'!). So today, I shrugged off my laziness and explored.

For the record, I TRIED to find a place that would measure me for a tuxedo (sorry D&A), but everything was closed. I'll try again tomorrow.

After that, I went in search of new digs. Soon, I'll be moving out of Luard Park due to my lease expiring and will need new accommodations. For some reason, I've been convinced that the mid-levels would hold my next abode in Hong Kong. All my expat coworkers live on the southern part of the island - too far away from civilization for me. I love the beaches and everything, but having to take a cab to go anywhere isn't ideal in my opinion. I want to be where the action is!

So I decided to go it on foot. What a dumb idea. I went to the Hopewell Center and took some stairs up the hillside. Oh boy, there were a ton of stairs. That took me to Kennedy Road, which was amazingly quiet. Once you get a little way out of the craziness of the north side of the island, it's like you're in a little slice of paradise.

So as I was soaking in the bird calls and the yellow-fever tainted mosquitoes, I continually came across more and more stairs. I'm horrible with a map, so I blindly went up them. The funny thing I realized is, many of these stairs are built exclusively for an apartment complex or two. I went up this particularly cool structure that looked like a spiral staircase blasted out of solid rock, only to find a very confused security guard as I tried to play it off that I went up and down the staircase for no reason whatsoever. There were also some sections of the road that had no sidewalk - and AC can attest what a scary proposition that may be.

In the end, I alighted another random staircase and found myself right next to - The Great! All roads point there, I'm telling you! With disgusting dark sweat stains all over my designer t-shirt, I shuffled my way home. My little place in Wan Chai didn't seem so small after all. Especially after I rode up the elevator with my neighbor - and a hooker - yeah, life in Wan Chai isn't so bad after all.ith the US, but happily took a nap promptly after.